Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors (www.wewriwa.com) where writers submit 8 – 10 lines of their work for others to read and comment. Please visit the site for snippets from other authors.
My snippet this week comes from my erotic romance called A Love More Precious Than Diamonds, which I published last year. The story starts in London in 1992, when Danny is a 21 year old student, working in a bar to pay his way through university. One night an older, very glamorous woman comes into the bar
I’m not sure whether I saw Gem first, or if she saw me. At any rate, my eyes were scanning the bar from left to right and she was scanning the bar in the opposite direction when our eyes met. The world stood still for me. There, sitting alone in the bar where I worked, was the most sensational woman I have ever seen, or probably ever likely to see. She sat poised and completely still, her chin slightly raised from her long, elegant neck, her legs elegantly crossed, and her dark brown, sensual eyes looking directly into mine. She had dark brown, shoulder length glossy hair that looked impeccable, as though she had never encountered a gust of wind in her entire life. She was dressed completely in black – a simple, but elegant, fitted silk dress that stopped two inches above the knee, sheer black tights (or stockings maybe, even better!) and black, five-inch heels. She could have been any age from thirty to fifty; it was impossible to tell from this distance. She was heart-stoppingly beautiful, and she was looking at me.
I might have stood there for hours, mesmerised as I was by this vision of beauty and poise, if it hadn’t been for my boss, Jerry, nudging me in the ribs.
Danny was a 21-year-old student when he met Gem in London in 1992. She was the most beautiful, sensuous and sexy woman he had ever met, and she was some years older and married to a wealthy businessman. So why did she pick him from all the men she might have chosen?
Their affair was brief and dramatic, and introduced Danny to sexual passion, the like of which he had never experienced before. It also introduced him to the kind of woman who desired control and discipline in her life. Even though the affair lasted just a few weeks, it changed his life and changed his perception of the type of woman he wanted.
Twenty years later he met a young woman and, for the first time in his life, he fell in love; but fate was not kind, and the events of twenty years earlier came back to haunt him as he realised that he might lose the woman of his dreams. He was powerless to act. He could not rewrite his life history.
Available from Blushing Books and Amazon US
Beautiful and vivid description of Gem. I felt like I was right in that bar watching her, too. Excellent snippet!
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Thank you. Glad to hear that.
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Great description of how entranced he feels. I love the title of this book, too.
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Thanks Ed. I probably won’t get this far into the book, but Gem (not her real name) was called so by a lover because of her love of diamonds. Only trouble is that it is a mouthful for Twitter’s limited space!
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Fabulous description. You can tell he’s captivated.
Tweeted.
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Thanks Daryl. I tried to tweet your snippet, but I saw a notice to say I was not able to do so. Not sure why.
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He’s certainly got an eye for beauty! I love the older woman angle. Nice job, Rachel.
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Thanks Nancy. Of course he thinks she’s way out of his league. We shall see…
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Love the dramatic engagement here, Rachel. It is only right that the earth should stop moving when you first ‘see’ your next lover!
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I think he was mesmerised,like a deer caught in the headlights of a car.
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I love the visual descriptions of her. Good thing is boss is there to nudge him – go for it buddy! Fun snippet!
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Thanks Frank. Glad you like it.
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She makes quite the impression all right! 5″ heels – wow. Interesting concept for the book as well. Enjoyed the excerpt!
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But why is a woman like that looking at an inexperienced 21 year old student? We shall see.
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Love the different ages. Sometimes it works. You do have a way of pulling the reader into the story. Love your word play.
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Thanks Charmaine. Unfortunately, in this case, he may come to regret falling under the spell of this femme fatale.
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She sounds gorgeous. The blurb is intriguing as well. Great snippet, Rachel!
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Thank you Elyzabeth.
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Great description! She sounds fabulous.
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Thanks Christina.
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Great description and terrific showing of his emotions. Great cover, too.
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Thank you, Diane. Yes, I love the cover too.
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She definitely sounds stunning… I wonder how much trouble she is, though. 😉
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Oh, I think lots! Thanks for commenting. 🙂
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She captured his attention all right. She sounds very beautiful.
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She is certainly beautiful, but flawed, like an imperfect diamond.
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Such a lovely description! Very vivid. “Some Enchanted Evening” incarnate. *sigh*
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Thanks Jenna. She is a woman he will never be able to forget.
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Wonderful description! It sets the tone. Great snippet.
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Thanks Elizabeth.
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Great description. You really explained well.
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Thank you.
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