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I am continuing with my book A Love More Precious Than Diamonds, that I published last year. The story starts in London in 1992, when Danny is a 21 year old student, working in a bar to pay his way through university. One night an older, very glamorous woman comes into the bar, but then disappears. At the end of the evening, Danny leaves the bar for home.
Immediately outside the bar was a black limousine, with dark windows. As I walked past, the rear passenger window was lowered and a soft, but very sexy voice called to me. It was the woman from the bar. My heart was thumping so hard I was sure that she would hear it from within the limo, and the moisture suddenly drained from my mouth.
“Can I offer you a lift somewhere? You will get soaked in this rain.”
I hesitated, half of me desperately wanting to get into the car with her and the other half wondering if I should run for my life. The first half won.
“Yes, that would be great.”
I suppose that was the moment when my life changed forever.
Danny was a 21-year-old student when he met Gem in London in 1992. She was the most beautiful, sensuous and sexy woman he had ever met, and she was some years older and married to a wealthy businessman. So why did she pick him from all the men she might have chosen?
Their affair was brief and dramatic, and introduced Danny to sexual passion, the like of which he had never experienced before. It also introduced him to the kind of woman who desired control and discipline in her life. Even though the affair lasted just a few weeks, it changed his life and changed his perception of the type of woman he wanted.
Twenty years later he met a young woman and, for the first time in his life, he fell in love; but fate was not kind, and the events of twenty years earlier came back to haunt him as he realised that he might lose the woman of his dreams. He was powerless to act. He could not rewrite his life history.
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This passage is smoothly written and wholly believable. Excellent job!
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Thank you Ed. I appreciate your comment.
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Lovely excerpt with a perfect finishing line!
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Thank you.
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Candy from strangers, little boy? He should have run, but getting into the car will prove a lot more interesting! Nice job, Rachel!
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Thanks Nancy. Yes, it will have long-reaching effects.
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Always pay attention to your instincts! But I have a feeling she’s irresistible!
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Yes, I think you are right. She is what is called a ‘femme fatale’. What young man could resist her?
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Outstanding. Your writing is as captivating as the story moves on to a bitter end. I can feel his confusion and sorrow.
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Thank you Charmaine. A decision made in haste might be repented at leisure.
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Excellent! Flowing excerpt with the best ending, a great hook!
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Thank you, Naomi.
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Ed is right, Rachel. This piece is magic. I really love the last line!
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Thank you very much, Kim.
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I can certainly see how this choice he just made is going to change his life. Well done and I like the noirish feel.
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Thanks Veronica. The power of an older, sexy woman on a young impressionable man cannot be overestimated. But is she dangerous?
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That last line is a real keeper. Good job.
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Thank you.
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Yep, his life will change. But how can he resist a sexy voice in a limo?
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Young man, sexy older lady, no contest!
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Interesting. Very interesting. I’m very curious to see how you develop this.
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Thanks. This first chapter or so concentrates on the past.and then I jump forward twenty years to find out the consequences.
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Staring danger in the face and throwing the warning flags over your shoulder…oh, the mad invulnerability that accompanies the impetuous joy of youth.
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I wish I could recall what that felt like! Thanks for visiting, Elizabeth.
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I’m not sure I would have gotten into that car… but there can’t be adventure without risks!
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Thanks for commenting, Caitlin. The impetuousness of youth!
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Great snippet! Sounds like the teaser page you read when you first open a paperback book. Great job!
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Thanks Amy.
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