Welcome to Weekend Writing Warriors (www.wewriwa.com) where writers submit 8 – 10 lines of their work for others to read and comment. Please visit the site for snippets from other authors. Please note that the book “A Love More Precious Than Diamonds” is an erotic romance.
After Victor’s return, Danny doesn’t hear anything from him or Gem, and concerned, he goes to their apartment, where there is no response to the bell. A lady from the apartment opposite comes out and sees him.
“There’s no point in ringing that bell, they’ve gone.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“Gone, where have they gone?”
“I’ve no idea, but I saw lots of suitcases being taken out of the apartment on Monday night. I didn’t see them go, but the doorman told me that he thought they had gone to America. He said they wouldn’t be coming back as the apartment was being re-let to new tenants.”
I must have looked a fool, as I stood there with my mouth open like a goldfish. I was in shock and couldn’t quite take in what the woman was telling me. She went into her apartment and left me standing on the landing, feeling that my world, as I had come to know it, had come to a sudden end. The most exciting, sexy and beautiful woman that I had ever known had disappeared as suddenly as she had appeared.
And so we leave the youthful Danny. Next week we will be jumping twenty years to re-visit his life, and to see how Gem changed him into the man he is today.
(NB My father has gone back into hospital again, so I may be late in getting to you all, but I will do my best.)
Danny was a 21-year-old student when he met Gem in London in 1992. She was the most beautiful, sensuous and sexy woman he had ever met, and she was some years older and married to a wealthy businessman. So why did she pick him from all the men she might have chosen?
Their affair was brief and dramatic, and introduced Danny to sexual passion, the like of which he had never experienced before. It also introduced him to the kind of woman who desired control and discipline in her life. Even though the affair lasted just a few weeks, it changed his life and changed his perception of the type of woman he wanted.
Twenty years later he met a young woman and, for the first time in his life, he fell in love; but fate was not kind, and the events of twenty years earlier came back to haunt him as he realised that he might lose the woman of his dreams. He was powerless to act. He could not rewrite his life history.
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Unless this snippet is from the end of the book, I suspect he hasn’t seen the last of Gem. At least I hope not.
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No, I did a bit of darting backwards and forwards in time in the book. A few readers complained – they like their stories to run sequentially – but I thought it fitted the story better. And no, you haven’t seen the last of Gem.
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I read the blurb and figured that out — after I’d written the comment.
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What a great scene, Rachel! A goldfish-now that’s an image. You can feel his confusion and loss. And I can’t wait to find out what happens to them in the future!
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Thanks Nancy. All will be revealed!
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You’ve captured his loss and confusion so well.
Sorry to learn of your father’s illness. Healing prayers go out to you, Rachel. Charmaine
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Thanks Charmaine. Going to see Dad later. I think he is improving.
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This so strengthens the picture of his youth, as though the thought of betrayal had been a foreign concept. I’m very interested to see how he copes with it. I hope everything goes well with your father.
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Thanks Jenna. Despite being 21, Danny was a bit naive, even though this was 20 years ago. Next time you meet him he will be 40, and a lot wiser! Thanks for the wishes for my Dad.
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You and your Dad are in my thoughts. May all go well for you.
I love the powerful way you show his disbelief
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Thanks for your good wishes, Kim. Dad is a little better.
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Aw, poor guy. We all knew it was coming, but he definitely didn’t.
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Yes, he was a bit naive. But Gem certainly gave him a heck of an education!
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I hope he can find her again.
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I can feel how stunned he is, but really he was being incredibly naive. Which all says – well done to the author! Best wishes to your Dad….
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Yes, he was a bit naive wasn’t he? He had quite a sheltered upbringing. Thanks about Dad. He is much improved, thankfully.
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Poor guy. So naive and so in love…with an illusion. It will be interesting to see what effect she had on him in 20 years. Has he hardened? Does he hate her? Seek revenge? Your snippet hooks the reader with so many unanswered questions.
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Thanks Diane. I hope that I will be able to answer some of these questions in time.
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I hope she returns into his life. Great snippet
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She does, Naomi, but not in the way you might expect! Thanks for commenting.
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